The Ritual of Baking Through Grief

by Alisha M. Smith | Grief to Gratitude Chef

When grief arrives, it often moves through the body before it finds words. It sits in the chest, the throat, the belly. For many of us, especially tender-hearted Black women and grieving creatives, there are few safe spaces where those feelings are allowed to be present, let alone transformed.

That’s why I bake.

Not to escape it. But to be with it. To stir memory into batter. To make space in the kitchen where my emotions are not problems to be fixed, but ingredients to be held.

Baking through grief is not about getting over anything. It’s about making room. About ritualizing your presence. It’s about remembering that your hands still know what to do, even when your heart feels broken.

In my workbook Bake Through It, I guide you through the process of choosing recipes that match your emotions. Soft and sweet for sadness. Crunchy and warm for anger. Spiced and grounding for numbness. We don’t bake for the outcome—we bake for the process.

If you’re looking for a way to move with your grief or tend to a heavy emotional moment, try this:

• Light a candle

• Choose a recipe you don’t need to perfect

• As you stir, name what you’re holding

• Let your breath be part of the mix

Try This Simple Recipe: Grief-Soft Banana Muffins

• 2 ripe bananas

• 1 egg

• 1/3 cup melted butter

• 1/2 cup brown sugar

• 1 tsp vanilla

• 1 tsp cinnamon

• 1 cup flour

• 1/2 tsp baking soda + pinch of saltBake at 350°F for 18-20 mins. As they bake, sit. Breathe. Let go.

This is how we bake through it. One ritual. One memory. One soft return at a time.